Hours of Boredom & Instances of Terror

April 13, 2024

Day 13

My father said there would be, “Hours of boredom and instances of terror,” while crossing an ocean.

On a journey of a crossing of this caliber. I understand how this may be the case for some, my perspective illustrates a bit differently.

In the past 2 weeks, I have not had the feeling of boredom. It seems as if there is constantly something to tend to on the boat whether it is monitoring a system, checking the weather, looking for other ships, charting our position, feeding myself, trimming a sail, setting a heading, reading a manual, researching a solution… the list continues and it seems to never end. The experience of the crossing has sparked a curiosity in me to understand the boat to a more fundamental level and has shined awareness on the importance of knowing the boat, and myself, in its many different states. Even the sight of birds flying this far from land or flying fish gliding above water from the predator jackfish likens my current state of just being out here. The moment is now and I am here. That is my full and constant capacity.

In regards to instances of terror, I feel bouts of anxiety, situations of stress, which either promote proactivity or productivity, respectively. The moments I dwell on things of what I could have done better or where else I could be inherently prove to be a complete waste of time. I hope to bring this principle back with me. In the most intense moments, all that can be done is what can be. Just do until resources are exhausted and then find more. There is no exit or kick out. And even in the worst moments it must be remembered that this too shall pass.